


Luz & Amity: University Days

by PeKaNo



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 16,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24325465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeKaNo/pseuds/PeKaNo
Summary: Luz and Amity. University AU. Romance. Do I need to use more words?
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 42
Kudos: 441





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Reminder that english isn't my native language and I'm far from fluent :x  
> Also yep, University AU (aha how original), and the plot isn't even that interesting, but I don't know I felt like doing a multi-chapter Lumity fic and it's what came to my mind.  
> Another information –do what you want with it– is that I wrote the outline of this whole fanfic while being drunk. I hope it will excuse the low-quality drama that'll happen in later chapters ;-;  
> Anyways, hope you'll enjoy!

_ Boooooring. _

Luz was sitting in the fourth row of the amphitheatre, gazing at the lecturer, totally lost. He was explaining entropy to the class, but Luz had stopped trying to understand a while ago. What even was this S written all over the board?

Instead of trying to hang on and listen to the professor, Luz started to question her life choices for the nth time since the week started. After barely making it out of high-school, Luz had spent a hard time trying to figure out what she would do next. After many ideas either she or her mother rejected, Luz ended up choosing a regular University course to continue her studies. She didn’t really care about anything, so she picked half-randomly her subject ; Physics. The whole ‘going into space’ thing was probably one of the reasons of this choice, though Luz would never admit it to anyone.

So there she was, in this amphitheater, only one week after the beginning of the courses, and she was definitely bored. On top of that, she didn’t really have the time to make any friend, so she didn’t have anyone to text or chat with. Still, she could maybe use the rest of this class to look around and try to find people to befriend.

Two rows below her were two girls looking attentively at the professor, actively writing stuff in their notebooks. Luz already knew the name of one of them, the one on the right, as she had already interacted multiple times with their teachers in various classes. Boscha was a somewhat tall magenta-haired girl, wearing a classic gray shirt, and Luz noticed that despite her taking notes diligently, she looked like she got tired of the class and was waiting impatiently for its end. To her left, there was this green-haired girl whose name was unknown to Luz. She actually seemed to enjoy the class, and Luz could have swore she already knew her from somewhere. After thinking for a few minutes, Luz realized that they were from the same elementary school, but they had never talked together as far as she remembered.

Looking around a bit more, Luz noticed a few more students who didn’t look _too_ boring. One was a blond white girl with glasses, on the same row as Luz. Besides her normal appearance, she seemed to be drawing in her notebook instead of listening, and it got Luz curious. What was she drawing? Maybe they could talk about it sometimes, since Luz liked to draw as well, not that she was super good at it. Two rows behind her, someone with a black choker and mid-length dark blond hairs was looking at their phone. ‘ _Wow, I could never wear this in public_ ’ Luz thought when she saw their choker. She had already needed a few months to get use to her black piercings, and every now and then she still doubted this life choice. Anyway, someone looking this outstanding probably wasn’t boring, at least in Luz’s opinion. The last person she noticed was a brown-skinned boy wearing a yellow turtleneck, right next to her. ‘ _Another one with a ballsy look_ ’ she thought. He also had high-waisted jeans, and black nail varnish. He was listening to the professor with a bored look on his face, like pretty much everyone else in the amphitheater apart from that green-haired girl next to Boscha.

Luz wanted to talk to the boy next to her, but she was afraid to sound too awkward. They had never talked before, and talking to someone after sitting silently next to them for almost an hour sounded extremely embarrassing. 

‘ _ Get a hold of yourself _ ’ she thought. ‘ _ You’re 18, it shouldn’t be this hard to start a conversation with someone _ ’. As she was about to open her mouth, the bell rang, indicating the end of the class. Luz proceeded to shove her stuff in her bag, and was about to get up when someone talked to her.

-Boring wasn’t it?

Luz slightly jumped as she was not expecting her neighbor to actually start the conversation. His voice was sweet and very unique, and it took a few seconds to Luz to link his voice to his body.

-Yeah... I mean I don’t really know since I didn’t pay attention, Luz answered a bit too fast.

She suddenly realize it was the perfect occasion to make a friend.

-Wanna eat together?

Since this class was their last before noon, and considering that the boy apparently didn’t know anyone around, Luz figured out that maybe they could have spent the lunch together. Sadly, he gave a negative response.

-Sorry, I don’t eat at the campus cafeteria.

-No problem, she answered. It was nice to talk to you!

Still feeling a bit awkward, Luz got up and let out a small sigh as she started to walk towards the exit. ‘ _ Another day, another lunch alone _ ’ she thought, a resigned look on her face. As she passed the doors, she could hear two girls talking behind her, one of the voices belonging to Boscha. Luz quickly looked over her shoulder, and saw that she was still with the green-haired girl.

-Aaahhh I wish we didn’t have thermodynamics! It’s only the first week and I’m so bored… How can you like it Amity?

So her name was Amity...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amity and Boscha are eating (very exciting isn't it?)

-I thought it was interesting, Amity answered. But yeah, maybe not the most interesting thing in my life.

Amity put her handbag on her shoulder with a small one-sided shrug. Even though the sun was supposed to be near its highest point, the cloudy sky only let a tame light into the building. It was a really austere university, built forty years ago, when engineers apparently didn’t bother with light. Amity didn’t really care about the lighting of the building either, but it would be lying to say that it didn’t contribute to deteriorate her mood. With Boscha behind her, she continued her walk towards the cafeteria.

After having to wait in line for what seemed an eternity, Amity and Boscha finally gathered their lunches and went to sit at a round table.

-So, what made you choose physics? Boscha casually asked. What could possibly be wrong in your head?

-What? Amity answered with a sarcastic tone. My brain is perfectly fine! My parents though… I guess they just want me to succeed.

-So like they forced you to do this?

-No… Not really. It’s not really that verbalized. They just put me in this very prestigious high-school, and they act like it’ll be the end of the world if I don’t succeed in everything. Also they made sure that I clearly understood how expensive was that high-school and how I would waste their money if I failed. They never forced me to do anything though, it was just… a sort of pressure. I got to choose physics though, I really dig quantum physics.

-Neeerd, Boscha answered with a smile.

-What about you? What does a girl who still uses “nerd” past elementary school do at uni, especially in a physics course?

-I compared wages. I know it sounds dumb, but like, I literally took a flyer with many types of jobs, and found out that one of the most lucrative was physicist, Boscha said while Amity chuckled.

-So you’re in for the big house on top of a hill? Amity asked, still with a smile on her face.

-Yeah something like that. Also like a buff boyfriend. With abs.

Amity didn’t reacted to that, which stopped Boscha in her life-goals monologue, leaving an awkward silence.

-Where are you coming from? I mean what city, what region? Amity asked to revive the conversation.

They continued talking casually throughout their lunch, discussing various –and mostly uninteresting– topics. It wasn’t Amity’s first lunch at the cafeteria, but each time she ate there made her more and more disappointed. On paper, their menu was very interesting and promising, but everytime it turned out to be bland and monotonous. ‘Can’t really expect anything from lunches this cheap’ Amity thought while fumbling her yogurt with a spoon.

-You finished? she heard from Boscha, who had just emptied her glass of water.

-Uh yeah I guess. Want my yogurt? I won’t eat it.

-I’ll pass, I try not to eat too much lactose, I don’t digest it well.

Following an invisible signal, Amity and Boscha got up at the same time and took their trays to the collecting area. On their way out, Amity noticed a girl eating alone near the exit. She had short brown hairs and seemed to not care about the fact that she was alone.

‘Maybe I’ll ask her if she wants to eat with us next time’ Amity thought, remembering that she had seen her in their morning’s class. ‘But well, maybe she enjoys being alone…’


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luz is having a hard time with her math homeworks

Luz looked up as she saw a green object cross her field of view, quickly realizing that it was Amity. However, she did not quite see her since she had already left when Luz focused on her surroundings. She did see Boscha following her though.

‘At least some of us aren’t eating alone’ Luz thought, sighing.

Luz wasn’t really hungry. She tried to eat a bit of her main course, but stopped halfway. She thought University would be a new start. She thought she could change, and maybe actually succeed in making friends. But it was apparently too optimistic. Maybe she was a lost cause.

Without trying to eat more, Luz stood up and got rid of her tray, before heading towards the library. She had a free afternoon, but math homeworks to do, and even though she was clearly not in the mood, she’d rather do them now than later in the evening.

She went to a vacant desk, settled down, and tried. She tried for ten minutes, thirty minutes, one hour, two hours. She couldn’t focus. Everytime she read a sentence on her sheet, it vanished from her mind a few seconds later, like a drop in an ocean. Not to mention those huge moments when she was simply thinking about something else, something that wasn’t mathematics. In these moments, Luz had seriously considered dropping out of university. ‘What is the point’ she thought, ‘what will it bring me in my life?’.

As time went on, and Luz made no progress, she dived more and more into resignation. Realizing that she had to clear her mind, Luz got up and went to the coffee machine. Maybe it would help her work. She took the cheapest option and stood there, waiting for her cup to fill with that familiar coffee-machine sound. Once she heard the bip, Luz reached for her cup, and started walking while unbending at the same time. She realized her mistake when she felt her hand hit against something.

Luz let out a small gasp as she realized she had bumped into someone.

-I’m-so-sorry, she said a bit too loud, before even trying to understand what had happened.

Luz then gazed at the small coffee stain she had just made on the person’s shirt, not knowing how to react. When she looked up, she mentally facepalmed when she realized it was someone from her class.

-Gosh I’m soooo sorry, Luz said with a sincere look on her face. What can I do?

-It’s fine, Amity replied with anger.

-Really? Are you sure you don’t want anything?

-It’s done anyways, Amity answered with a sigh, softening her tone. Just… be careful next time.

-Promise I will, Luz said while nodding. 

‘Is it okay if I start a conversation? Will she get angry? Should I ask her name even though I already know it?’ Luz thought at full speed, not knowing what to do.

-What’s your name? Amity asked, cutting short her reflexions. I saw you in class this morning, you’re in first year of the physics course too right?

-I’m Luz. And uh, yeah I’m in physics, currently having a hard time with our maths homeworks, she continued with a nervous laugh. What’s your name?

-Amity Blight, she answered while looking at her shirt doubtfully.

-It was nice talking to you, Luz said while starting to walk backwards, still with a bitter and awkward feeling. Sorry again for the coffee.

-Don’t worry about it. See you around.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More about Amity

As Amity was about to order her own coffee, she saw Luz bump into someone else while turning around, this time avoiding any coffee spill. A smile appeared on her face.

‘She’s really clumsy isn’t she?’

After taking her short coffee, Amity went back to her seat, next to Boscha. She had already done her maths, and was simply re-writing her notes from the morning classes.

-I see you’ve changed your shirt!

Amity turned towards Boscha, a half-angry, half-embarrassed look on her face.

-It’s just like, a girl who tripped on me.

-That’s exactly why I  _ always  _ bring extra clothes with me, Boscha continued. You can never be too careful. This way you never end up with a… fat ass stain on your shirt.

A smirk appeared on Boscha’s face as she uttered the word ‘fat ass’.

-I-It’s not even that big! argued Amity, her face slightly blushing. Anyways I’m done with this.

She quickly grabbed her stuff and left before Boscha even realized what was happening.

-See you tomorrow, Amity said without conviction.

She then proceeded to walk out of the campus, and took the direction of her home. Well ‘home’ might be an overly optimistic word, but at least her apartment was in a good shape. Since her parents had decided that she needed the best possible conditions for her studies, they had rented this expensive and big place not far from the university.

She had everything regular students could wish for : a separate bedroom, a dishwasher, a balcony, and lots of other things. Even if she would have been okay with a smaller apartment, she was glad her parents took this one, allowing her to spend hours studying or reading without feeling too cramped.

Thinking about her apartment made Amity realize that she had nothing to do this evening. All of her homeworks were done, and she had no friends to hang out with in the area. She could simply read books since it was her main hobby, but the morning classes had made her exhausted and she wasn’t really in the mood to read.

After getting home, Amity lied on her bed. She didn’t sleep, and instead tried to figure out what she could do. She looked on Penstagram, but quickly ran out of new posts to watch, so her phone ended up next to her, turned off. Amity lost her train of thoughts after this.

She didn’t know how much time had passed when she decided to get up and try to do something. Since she couldn’t think of anything better, Amity ended up reading the math chapter that they would probably do next week.

‘At least I’ll have less trouble understanding it’.

She quickly got bored though, and realizing she was hungry, put a frozen meal in the microwave. Yes, she couldn’t cook. So what? She could afford to eat healthy and tasty enough –at least better than the cafeteria–, why would she bother to cook?

After eating the just above average fishcake, Amity took a shower and went to bed, this time with no intention of leaving it before the next morning. Once again Penstagram was desperately empty, and Amity spent some time searching for new people to follow. After adding a few writers she wasn’t already following, Amity realized that she hadn’t followed anyone from her class yet. Her first thought went towards Boscha, and she found her profile easily thanks to her uncommon name.

As expected from Boscha, her profile was filled with selfies taken all around the country, and she seemed to post very often.

‘Oh she already follows me’ realized Amity as she clicked the button herself. 

‘Who else do I know…’ Amity thought, realizing that despite her small encounters with people from her class, she didn’t know the name of anyone. Except for…

‘Oh yeah, Luz!’

This time, Amity struggled a bit to find Luz’s Penstagram account. It only had her name, a profile picture that looked like it was taken years ago, and three posts about books that she had read in the past. One of them was titled “Azura”.

‘Oh wow, I had totally forgotten this book’ Amity thought as she realized it was one of her favorites when she was younger.

She followed Luz too, even though it looked like her profile was more or less abandoned. Realizing it was already around 10 PM, Amity switched off her phone and her bedroom light.

‘It’s important to get enough sleep’.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luz is late.

Luz stretched her legs and slightly opened her eyes at the same time. Daylight. There was daylight in her room.

‘Oh no no no’ she thought, instantly awakened.

The sun wasn’t supposed to show up before around 8:30, which was approximately thirty minutes after the start of her classes. Luz jumped out of her bed and quickly dressed up without even looking at her phone to check how late she was. Stumbling upon random objects in her way made her realize how much one-room apartment sucked. Hers was especially small, since her mother couldn't pay for anything better, but Luz was pretty okay with it. She didn’t feel like she needed anything more. Except right now, because her place seemed to try everything to slow her down.

Finally succeeding in dressing up and drinking a glass of apple juice, Luz took her school bag and went out as quickly as possible. She still had around one kilometer to walk before she reached the campus, and waiting for the bus would probably just slow her down. 

As she walked towards the university, Luz cursed herself for reading up until 3 in the morning, hoping that she would magically not get tired from her short night. But she was so close from finishing her book, and stopping there would have been a disgrace! She was now paying for her impatience.

It took Luz around 5 minutes to get to the campus, and a few more to reach her amphitheater that was on the first floor. Praying that she hadn’t missed too much of the two hours chemistry class, Luz thought that she would have to work hard to catch up.

Hearing the muffled voice of her teacher from behind the door, she tried to open it silently but couldn’t avoid a little squeak that resonated in the whole room. Realizing that the voice had stopped, Luz understood that her entry had been noticed and would probably not be smooth.

After making a few steps to get out of the entrance, she discovered that her teacher, and half of the students, were looking at her. While most of the student’s faces showed boredom or disinterest, the teacher was looking at Luz with quite angry eyes.

-How many times will I get interrupted this morning? The class begins at eight, not whenever you feel like waking up. Next time, and this applies to everyone, don’t even bother coming late in class, I’ll tell you to go away. I hate being interrupted, and I’m sure that there are students who are annoyed as well.

Luz looked down as the teacher went on with her moral lesson, only to realize that she had put two different socks.

‘Aaahh I’m so dumb!’

-Now young girl, I advise you to go take a sit and try to blend in.

‘Maybe if you didn’t interrupt and take 5 minutes of your class to attack me it wouldn’t be such a problem’ Luz thought while heading to the last row, not wanting to get any closer.

She took her stuff out of her bag, opened her pencil case and her notebook, and tried to understand what was happening on the board. Something about atomic radiuses. But the teacher’s voice didn’t make its way to Luz’s brain, at least not without being blend in various noises from the room. There was even this drone coming from the vent, right above her. She did the terrible mistake of putting her head on her arm, in a more comfortable position where she could still see the teacher.

A few minutes later, her eyes slowly closed…


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luz is asleep in class.

-Since the class is 2 hours long and I know you youngsters can’t stay focused more than 10 seconds, I’ll give you a pause for a few minutes. And I’ll go get some coffee, I really need it.

The teacher then left the amphitheater, leaving the room quite noisy since almost every student started talking at the word ‘pause’. 

-Oh my god she has no authority, Boscha stated while looking at where their teacher had left. I mean she pulls up this ‘I’ll kick you out’ act, but we all know she’ll never do it.

-Guess you’re right, Amity answered. But I still wouldn’t want to get yelled at in front of the class.

Boscha took her phone, opened Penstagram and started scrolling nonchalantly through her daily feed. While gazing at Boscha’s phone, Amity suddenly remembered that Luz just went through this terrible fate.

Turning around, she tried to find Luz in the middle of all the students since she didn’t see where she went after their teacher got mad at her. After scanning each row several times, Amity managed to find her. Seemingly resting on her arms.

‘Or sleeping’ Amity thought. ‘At this point I think I wouldn’t even be surprised’.

After looking at her for a few minutes, Amity came to the conclusion that Luz was indeed sleeping. She slightly blushed when she realized how long she had been staring at Luz, quickly looking around to check if anyone had seen her. Fortunately, Boscha was still on her phone, and the rest of the group was focused on various activities. Except for one blond girl who was looking at Amity through her glasses, with a small smile. Blushing a bit more, Amity shrugged her shoulders and looked in another direction, hoping that whatever the girl thought would soon be forgotten.

That’s when their teacher came back, quickly walking to her desk with a cup of steaming coffee.

-So, as I was saying, the radius of an atom is directly tied to its atomic number, and how many electrons it has. But you probably learned this in high school already…

The rest of the class went well, maybe too well, because even Amity started to get bored.

‘Two hours of this is clearly not easy to take’ she thought at some point. ‘Even for me’.

Finally, the bell rang, and everyone stood up as if they were suddenly pulled out of their torpor. Amity looked towards Luz and saw that she was still sleeping –now she was sure that Luz wasn’t just resting– so she went to wake her up. On her way, she came across the blond girl, who stopped Amity from going further up.

-Hi! Uh sorry, we’ve never talked, are you going to check on the girl asleep?

-Yeah, if I don’t wake her up no one will, Amity answered.

-Oh nice, I was going to do it but go ahead. I don’t know her anyway.

The blond girl was playing with a strap from her bag, seemingly nervous.

-I’ve only talked to her a few times. What’s your name by the way? Amity asked very casually, hoping that she didn’t sound too insistent.

-I’m Lauren, what’s yours?

-Amity, Amity Blight, she responded with that disinterested-but-not-too-much tone, slowly starting to walk towards Luz again.

-Well see you around then, I’m gonna move to the next classroom, Lauren said with a smile.

Maybe her smile from earlier was just because of the whole ‘Luz is sleeping’ situation.

When Amity got close to Luz, almost everyone had left the amphitheater, and the last students were on their way out. Amity poked Luz’s arm while saying her name, hoping that it would wake her. But the only reaction she got was a soft moan.

‘Seriously…’ Amity thought. ‘How can you fall so deeply asleep in  _ class _ ?’

She shook Luz’s arm a bit harder, this time causing her to wake up.

-Oh god am I in trouble again? Luz asked while blinking hard.

Amity sighed.

-Luckily, no, but you should seriously sleep more in the night and less  _ in class _ . And next time please come on time, you disturbed the whole class.

-What makes you sleep I didn’t think tonight? Uhhhh I mean think I didn’t sleep tonight? And seriously don’t lecture me, the teacher already did that and believe me, I’m not willing to live this again.

Amity mentally facepalmed at the first part of Luz’s answer, but felt bad when she heard her somewhat aggressive response. Maybe she had been a little harsh on her.

-Yeah sorry, that was a little mean. Come on though, our next class will start soon.

Amity waited for Luz to collect her stuff and they both left the amphitheater. As they were walking, Amity told Luz that she added her on Penstagram the evening before.

-I kinda stopped using that a few years ago, said Luz with a sorry face.

-Oh. Thought everyone still used that.

-Yeah, I guess pretty much everyone except me, answered Luz, smiling. I can give you my phone number though if you want.

-Why not…


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luz can't sleep

It was 1 AM and Luz was still lying on her bed, unable to sleep because of her excitement. She finally made a friend! Or maybe it was presumptuous to use the word ‘friend’, but Amity willingly gave Luz her phone number, so they were more than just random classmates, right?

Luz had been reading for the past couple of hours, but she was unable to focus for more than 3 minutes, making it really annoying because she had to read sentences two or three times. After putting down her book next to her bed, Luz gazed at her phone, lost in her thoughts. It was probably too late to text Amity anyways, considering how serious she was, it was certainly way past her bedtime.

But Luz really wanted to discuss, and since she would probably not be able to sleep anyways, she sent a text.

_ are you awake? _

Luz switched her phone screen off and turned around in her bed, looking at the ceiling. She couldn’t clearly see anything because the lights were off, but her surroundings were slightly enlightened by the street lamps. It was the only direction she could look at without seeing a mess, and it was the best way she found to calm herself when she was too excited. Luz had classes at 8 in the morning, and staying awake longer would reduce the chances of her waking up in time, so it was probably reasonable to try to get some sleep. She felt her eyes slowly close, and her surroundings becoming more and more distant...

But her phone vibrated.

_ I wasn’t, but I guess you woke me up _

‘Oh fuck’ Luz thought when she saw Amity’s text. ‘I’m a moron’. She spent a couple minutes to make up an apology.

_ oh gosh I’m sorry D: I couldn’t sleep and I had nothing to do, I didn’t want to wake you up :x _

Amity’s answer quickly came.

_ It’s okay, I do not lack sleep contrary to someone _

__ __ _ Might as well just chat since I’m awake now. _

Luz was now fully awake, lying on her stomach, both hands holding her phone. It had been months since she hadn’t chatted with someone on her phone in the middle of the night, and it was something Luz quite enjoyed.

Her biggest problem was that she knew nothing about Amity. She had no real topic to talk about, and she didn’t want to discuss school because it would be straight up boring. The only thing Luz could come up with was the past morning events, so she went on with it.

_ thx again for waking me up this morning _

__ __ _ No problem, why were you so tired though _

__ __ __ _ I read until like very late _

__ __ __ _ I mean the book was so great omfg _

__ __ _ Oh I see. Didn’t think you were the big reader type until I saw your penstagram honestly. _

__ __ __ _ u read too? _

__ __ _ Yeah, around one book per week. What do you read? _

__ __ __ _ mostly what people call “young adult”. and fantasy too. I love fantasy _

__ __ __ _ wbu? _

The answer didn’t come as fast as the rest of Amity’s texts. Maybe she was thinking about what to respond.

_ I’m more into slice of life. And also non-fiction a little. _

__ __ __ _ cool! if u wanna recommend stuff tell me, I’m willing to discover new books _

__ __ _ I’ll think about it _

The messages paused while Luz was trying to come up with something to talk about. 

_ oh btw, I realized we were at the same elementary school! u were at Brightwood right? _

__ __ _ Oh wow, didn’t realize that, sorry. Amazing that you still remember it _

__ __ __ _ np, it was a looong time ago, it’s normal that you forgot. I just have a visual memory or smth _

__ __ _ That’s neat! I’m so bad at remembering things honestly, everything beyond 2 months goes in a black hole or something. _

Luz got stuck at this point, not knowing what to respond once again. A few minutes passed.

_ what did u do after elementary school? _

Luz turned around, now facing the wall, because her arms were starting to hurt from laying on them. Amity was taking time to respond.

‘Either she is writing a novel, either she doesn’t know what to say’ Luz thought, slightly smiling.

She turned her phone screen off once again, and closed her eyes while waiting for Amity’s message.


	8. Chapter 8

Amity was walking fast in the corridors, trying to not be late. It was the same every morning. She made sure to wake up an hour before the class start, but she always ended up being almost late for various reasons. And this morning was no exception.

Last time she had checked her phone, she was still in her apartment, and she had barely 15 minutes to reach her classroom. As she took the last turn before the amphitheater, Amity grabbed her phone and realized that she still had 5 minutes before the beginning.

‘Wow I walked fast.’

Instantly slowing down, Amity pushed the door and entered the room. While the corridors were still pretty empty and silent, she was instantly hit by the noises of all the students talking. Amity tried to locate Boscha, and in the process realized that only about half of the students were here. It wasn’t surprising that people were missing on the first hour, but seeing that so many people were off made Amity think that there probably was a party or something last night.

Before noticing Boscha, Amity saw that Luz was here, just before the last row. Since the teacher wasn’t there yet, Amity chose to climb the stairs to go talk to her. After all, she had something to apologize for.

Leaving Boscha’s surprised look behind her, Amity went straight up towards where Luz was sitting. Surprisingly, the brown-haired girl wasn’t alone, since a boy with a yellow sweater and ripped jeans was sitting next to her.

-...so she got me the best- Oh hi Amity! Luz said when she saw Amity next to her.

-Hi Luz, and uh? Amity answered while questioning the boy with a look.

-Brandon, he answered almost immediately.

-So uh, I just wanted to say… Amity started, slightly blushing. Sorry about last night. I sort of… Fell asleep while talking to you.

-No worries, said Luz right away. I literally fell asleep before starting to worry too. I guess the Sandman hit us both at the same time.

A big smile appeared on her face, which immediately made Amity’s guilt vanish.

-I just wanted to make sure things were clear… between us.

Amity hesitated to say the last two words, for no apparent reason. Maybe because Luz and her only started talking a few days ago.

-Anyway, see you around, Amity continued while starting to climb down the stairs, this time reaching for Boscha.

A handful of students had arrived after Amity, but the class was still far from full. The teacher was also setting his stuff on his desk, so the class would probably start in the next couple of minutes.

-You know her? Boscha asked as soon as Amity reached her seat.

-Well, kind of. We only talked a few times.

Boscha made a not-so-pleased look.

-She’s the girl who gets here late and sleeps in class right? I bet she’s an alcoholic or something. Be careful because she might be a bad influence on you.

Boscha was probably just trying to be nice and protective, but the way she said it vexed Amity.

-Are you always so prompt at judging people? I think I’m old enough to know what is a bad influence on me, Amity answered with an angry tone.

Boscha’s eyes slightly widened, and after a short pause she answered.

-Oh. Sorry. I wasn’t trying to be mean.

The teacher had started talking in the meantime, but both girls were simply ignoring him. He was probably just making callbacks from the last class anyway.

-Still, continued Boscha. Why did you get so worked up over this?I thought you had only talked to her a few times. Is she your girlfriend or something?

The thought made Amity blush, and she even started feeling heat on her ears. It was totally irrational though, and probably not linked to Luz especially. Amity had just no experience talking about romantic relationships with her friends, and it was really awkward. Yeah, that was probably why she blushed. Seeing Boscha smirk comforted Amity about the fact that she was just joking.

-Nope, she answered, trying to look as unflustered as possible.


	9. Chapter 9

Thermodynamics were definitely not Luz’s thing. She had been lost since the first class, and it wasn’t getting better. Trying to understand at this point was impossible, because she needed at least a basic comprehension of the previous classes, which were roughly 2 months of content. Thankfully, she wasn’t alone in this difficult situation, since Brandon was also having troubles. However, he was conscientiously taking notes and seemed to have at least a partial understanding of what was happening on the board. Luz, willing to at least know what today’s class was about, asked him for help.

-Uh Brandon, can you just remind me what the alpha is supposed to mean?

-Yeah! It’s… the thermal diffusivity. If I got everything right, k is the thermal conductivity, Cp is the specific heat capacity, and rho is the density, even though this one is quite common so you probably know it already.

Brandon then took his pen and started drawing a quick diagram to help Luz understand. It didn’t work, but she got really impressed with his drawing skills. Well maybe it was pretentious to call it a drawing, but his ability to sketch a perfect square blew Luz away.

-Uhhhh, Luz grunted. How can you keep up with all these letters and units…

-Well, thermo is mostly about learning the formulas, the rest comes easily. You just need to understand the letters and their meanings.

-You make it sound like it’s easy, Luz answered.

-I think you just need like… a global view of the whole thing. I can try to help you later but please let me keep up with the actual class, Brandon finished with a smile.

-Sorry, Luz muttered, kind of comforted.

Still anxious about not understanding a single thing of what was happening on the board, Luz started to take notes, hoping that Brandon’s future help would help make everything clear.

–––

It helped… kind of? Thanks to Brandon who spent his afternoon making a big recap of everything to Luz, she managed to get some of the basics she was missing. But she was still far from a total understanding, and it was very discouraging to see that all of her efforts barely paid off. Anyway, it was past 8 PM now, and Luz decided to stop thinking about her struggles to clear her mind. 

Since that night when Luz talked to Amity on her phone, they had been chatting every evening about various subjects, mostly book reading. Usually, they stopped around 10 PM to fit Amity’s bedtime, but it wasn’t uncommon for them to continue up to midnight.

Luz had learned many things thanks to these discussions, for example the names of some classmates –Amity being friend with Boscha helped her to easily get to know other folks–. For example, the choker-wearer she had noticed several times was called December –a weird name according to Amity–, and the drawing girl’s name was Judy. Luz hadn’t talked to any of them yet, but knowing their names could help her make new friends in the future, so she considered it was a good thing.

Luz was washing the dishes when she heard her phone vibrate. It was likely Amity since no one else texted Luz apart from Brandon occasionally, so she quickly finished and took the few steps that separated her sink from her bed.

_ Hi! How are you doing? _

__ __ __ _ great! wbu? _

__ __ __ _ brandon helped me with thermo today, almost convinced me not to quit lol _

__ __ _ Whaaat you want to quit? _

__ __ __ _ idk… it’s tough and i feel like i’m not good enough _

Luz had actually never thought about quitting university, it was just something she said offhandedly. However, thinking about it made her realize it wasn’t that dumb. She  _ was  _ having big troubles keeping up, and she wasn’t interested in what she was learning at all. The complete lack of motivation was hard to deal with, and dropping out seemed like a reasonable solution.

_ Don’t do that!! What would you do if you quit? It will ruin your life! _

__ __ __ _ yeah, maybe ur right _

__ __ __ _ i’ll try to at least finish the semester, then i’ll see _

Luz, not very convinced by Amity’s messages, tried to change the topic, not wanting to talk about her difficulties any more.

_ anyway, what have you been reading lately? _

__ __ _ Timewaves _

__ __ _ It’s a slice of life about a girl in love with a teacher _

__ __ __ _ ooooooo you read romance?????? :o _

__ __ _ It’s not really a romance, just a slice of life with a love sidestory _

__ __ __ _ yeaaaaaa right :^) _

__ __ _ Gaaaaa read it if you don’t believe me! _

__ __ __ _ why not! want to eat together tomorrow? _

Luz, quite surprisingly, hadn’t talked to Amity –apart from through her phone– since the day she apologized for falling asleep. It was partially Luz’s fault for not trying to meet with Amity, but the green-haired girl wasn’t doing anything for that either.

_ I’m eating with Boscha, sorry _

Eating with Boscha didn’t sound like an obstacle to Luz, but the ‘sorry’ made her understand that for some reason, it was impossible. She didn’t try to insist.

_ and what about after the end of the classes? we could go out or smth _

__ __ _ I already have plans, sorry… _

_ That  _ sounded like a bad excuse. Luz knew that apart from studying and reading, Amity never did anything outside of classes. She was never out, and always available to talk with her in the evening. Was she trying to avoid her?

_ what plans? _

__ __ _ I have stuff to do, and I need to study too. _

__ __ __ _ are you trying to avoid me? _

Amity’s answer took a long time to come. Luz had sent her message out of the blue, not thinking until after she had pressed ‘send’.

_ No, it’s not that. I told you I had plans… _

Amity probably wasn’t going to tell her anything more, and Luz, regretting her aggressive tone, made up an apology.

_ sorry for being harsh, I didn’t mean to _

Luz stayed in front of her phone, waiting for Amity’s answer. Which never came. After a few minutes Luz gave up waiting. Not willing to send another text after this awkward event, she went to bed, her stomach going into knots.


	10. Chapter 10

Amity was sitting next to Boscha at the library, doing math exercises to train for the upcoming midterm exams. The weather was bad, and combined with the days getting shorter and shorter, it had forced the librarian to turn on the lights. Amity had never been in the library with the lights on –she was always coming back home before dark– so she was discovering this new atmosphere for the first time.

The library was quite old –probably at least two centuries– and the lights were a little yellow, which made the place warmer than usual. Only the chairs they were sitting in looked modern, but the rest of the place definitely had this victorian manor vibe.

-Do you have the answer to question five? Boscha asked, seeing that Amity was daydreaming.

-Umh let me check… Yeah, I found 2*e^(4x) for y.

-Oh shit I’m really bad at this. Can you explain me how you got there?

Amity took a few minutes to redo the exercise step by step, then she got herself a hot chocolate. She almost never drank that, but the rain outside and the warm atmosphere of the library sounded like a good occasion to drink something hot and sweet. Fully enjoying this little break, Amity was not paying attention to her surroundings until she heard someone say her name, a few steps behind her.

-Hey Amity!

It was Luz’s voice. Things had been awkward between them since the evening when Luz found out that Amity was kind of avoiding her in real life. The textings had almost stopped, becoming more formal and less friendly, and they hadn’t talked face to face at all.

-What are you doing? Luz asked while bending over Amity’s notebook. Oh, maths! That’s something I’m not too bad at.

Amity wanted to bury herself deep in the ground. Luz sounded anxious, not natural, like she was forcing herself to talk to Amity for some reason. She was always looking right, left, down, but never into Amity’s eyes or even at her face.

But this wasn’t the worst. The worst was Boscha’s look, somewhere between surprise and disgust. Her opinion about Luz probably didn’t change since they talked about her a few months ago, and she was probably surprised to see her treat Amity like a close friend. Which they weren’t.

- **Personal space** , Amity declared roughly.

It was the only thing she could come up with, not wanting to show Boscha that they knew each other, and not wanting to be too harsh with Luz. Maybe she would understand.

-Sorry, Luz muttered, looking uneasy. Can I sit next to you?

Boscha was sitting at Amity’s left, but there was no one at her right. She had to come up with something. Think fast. She couldn’t act like they were friends, especially not in front of Boscha.

-Well I was about to go home in a few minutes, so you should pick a better spot. Also I’m helping Boscha so we’re making quite some noise, it would probably disturb you.

This was a very bad excuse, but it was the only one Amity could come up with. She wasn’t even planning on leaving for the next 30 minutes.

When she heard Amity’s answer, Luz’s face deteriorated into a subtle sad look. She was probably trying to hide it, but Amity wasn’t fooled. Maybe Boscha didn’t notice that.

-I...uh… Luz started hesitantly.

For the first time, she looked right into Amity’s eyes, probably at the cost of a serious effort, which made Amity blush a little. Luz continued:

-I know we haven’t talked that much. You probably have better things to do than being friend with me. But I don’t know many people around here, and it’s hard for me to get through everything. I hate how I got upset at you just because you said you couldn’t go out with me after school. But please, I just… I just don’t want to lose one of my only friends here. Can you please consider it?

Luz looked far away from Amity as soon as she stopped talking.

Amity was panicking. Not now. Not here. If earlier she just didn’t know how to react, now her head had turned into a black hole. She couldn’t handle it. She couldn’t handle anything right now. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, maybe it would help her focus. But when she re-opened them, nothing had changed. She was still stuck, not knowing what to do. There was only one way out of this, and it was through the door.

Amity got up, grabbed her bag, and started walking fast towards the exit. Screw her notebook, Boscha would give it back to her the next day.

-Amity… 

She heard Luz calling her name with a very sad and hopeless voice. But there was no turning back.


	11. Chapter 11

_ hey, are you there? _

_ …  _

__ __ __ _ can we talk? _

_ … _

__ __ __ _ I just want to apologize _

__ __ __ _ I don’t really understand what made you react this way but i’m sorry _

_ …  _

__ __ __ _ please forgive me _

Luz was lying on her bed, looking at her phone screen, waiting for Amity’s answer, even though it would probably never come.

She was still totally upset by the afternoon events. When she realized that Amity was becoming more cold with her each day, Luz decided that she needed to talk to her, to try to fix their broken friendship. She still didn’t understand what was wrong with Amity, but it seemed like it was Luz’s job to fix things. So when she saw Amity at the library, she thought it was the perfect occasion to talk to her.

But she reacted… unexpectedly. 

When Luz told her that she wanted to be her friend, she left. She ran away.

Luz’s stomach had been tied into knots since then. She had barely eaten anything, and she was totally unable to sleep, haunted by regrets and incomprehension. Luz wasn’t even able to describe her feelings. It wasn’t really sadness, but some kind of melancholic pain in her chest.

Luz turned to her right, and saw on her alarm clock that it was already 3 AM. Luckily, it was friday night, so she wouldn’t miss any class because of the lack of sleep.

But she definitely needed to clear her head.

Luz considered going out for a walk, but she had heard stories of people getting robbed or assaulted in the area, so it would probably be a bad idea to go out alone at 3 AM.

She didn’t have much more to do. She had already read hours this evening, and it hadn’t helped her.

Maybe talking to someone else…

The only number she had on her phone, besides Amity’s and her mother’s, was Brandon’s. He was probably asleep, but it was the only thing she could think of right now.

_ ur awake? _

Surprisingly, his answer came almost immediately.

_ yeah, sup? _

__ __ __ _ i can’t sleep so i was looking for someone to chat with _

__ __ __ _ how are you awake so late tho? _

__ __ _ I was playing with friends from high school _

__ __ _ we do this almost every weekend, you never stay awake late on weekends? _

__ __ _ I mean apart from today _

__ __ __ _ not really _

__ __ __ _ i don’t have much to do _

__ __ _ is there a reason why you’re awake today? _

__ __ __ _ yeah _

__ __ __ _ Amity rejected me I guess, and I feel like shit _

__ __ _ wait, you mean you asked her out? _

__ __ __ _ NO _

__ __ __ _ I asked her to be my friend, and she literally ran away _

__ __ _ I’m not sure it’s common to ask people if they want to be friends with you _

__ __ _ didn’t you overdo it? _

__ __ __ _ things were already weird between us _

__ __ __ _ i just wanted to be clear _

__ __ _ and she didn’t even respond? _

__ __ __ _ yeah _

__ __ _ well I guess it means she don’t want to be your friend _

__ __ _ I get that you feel bad but seriously you should just forget her _

__ __ _ it’s not like you were super close anyways right? _

__ __ __ _ yeah i guess _

__ __ _ I think you should just move on _

__ __ _ I don’t think you’ll be friends after that _

__ __ _ Sorry for you _

__ __ __ _ it’s fine _

__ __ __ _ i guess my hopes were too high _

This conversation had reassured Luz a little. She still felt uncomfortable, but at least this weird feeling in her chest had mostly gotten away.

_ well thx for answering, i think i can sleep now _

__ __ _ no problem! don’t hesitate next time you need to talk or vent _

Luz shut her phone down, put it on her nightstand, and closed her eyes. She just had to forget about Amity…


	12. Chapter 12

Amity was walking home, thinking about Luz. She had just went through one of these extremely awkward moments when Luz and her were very close but kept ignoring each other. It was in front of the university, and Luz’s apartment was apparently in the same direction as Amity’s, so they had to walk a few hundred meters “together”. Without talking or even looking at each other.

It’s not like they were angry or mad, they were just acting like strangers.

Luz had stopped sending texts or trying to talk to Amity, and Amity was doing her best to never look in her direction. It was… weird. But at least, Luz had understood that she was making Amity uncomfortable when she talked to her, and even though Amity missed their evening chats, it wasn’t that important.

Still, Amity thought that she was thinking about Luz way too much. Maybe it was because she had been one of her only acquaintances here at uni, or maybe it was because she had probably hurt her by ignoring her. Most of all, it felt weird because Amity wasn’t used to care this much about other people’s feelings. She had always been this unsympathetic person, able to have friends, to laugh with them, but never really empathetic. This change was probably due to adulthood or something like that.

When Amity reached her place, she stopped her introspective train of thoughts, opened her building door and went up the stairs to her apartment. She abandoned her bag next to the table, grabbed the book she had been reading these past days, and lied down on her bed. When she opened the book, she took her bookmark in her hands and played with it for a few seconds. It was a steel bookmark with fake gemstones glued on it, and its curved shape allowed her to make it rotate around one finger. Amity had no clue why or how she started doing that, but each time she opened a book it was a sort of ritual to casually play with the bookmark while trying to remember the part of the story she had read before.

That book was a romance. It had taken a while for Amity to finally accept she was into romance, and she was still far from being confident enough to be open about it. When she had to talk about her readings with other people, for instance with Luz, she always hid it, claiming she was into “Slice of Life”. Romance wasn’t something very well regarded, and as a top high school student she wasn’t supposed to be into it.

Anyway, she quickly got back into the book, and even managed to finish it before diner. Sadly, like a lot of romance, the scenario wasn’t really good and its stakes felt totally impactless. It was a love triangle between a teenage girl, her step-brother and another girl from their class. She wasn’t against the initial idea, but it was poorly written, and the end was way too abrupt for her taste. Funnily though, the third girl reminded her of Luz for some reason. Maybe it was her unfailing enthusiasm, or maybe her boundless energy. Through the whole book, all the characters seemed to enjoy a lot their friendship with her, at least for the characters who wanted to  _ just  _ be friends with her.

Maybe Amity had made a mistake when she rejected Luz’s friendship. Maybe she could have worked it out, both with her and Boscha. But things were already settled. Amity was doomed to ignore Luz now. And even if she wanted to fix things, Luz would probably never forgive her.

The low quality of the book and the sudden recalling of her relationship with Luz made Amity’s mood quickly deteriorate, and when she arrived in her kitchen to heat her dinner up, she instead reached for a white wine bottle that somehow happened to be in her fridge.

Amity didn’t even know why she bought it last week, but someone had to drink it now. At first, she thought that maybe she could invite Boscha over to spend a comfy evening, but she quickly dropped that plan when she remembered that she was unable to cook even the simplest dish. But the wine bottle was already in her bag by the time she realized that, so she bought it anyways, it wasn’t like she was short on money.

Opening the bottle with a rusty corkscrew that was laying around, Amity filled her glass halfway with the yellowish alcohol.

She had already tasted wine, multiple times, since it was what her parents drank most of the time, but she wasn’t very used to it. She wasn’t used to any alcohol to be honest.

The first sips left a weird taste in her mouth, but it wasn’t unpleasant. She let down her dinner plans and decided that she would instead just eat salty appetizers stuff she had, mostly pistachios and peanuts.

Before she even realized it, Amity had drank half of the bottle, and the alcohol effects were still almost nonexistent. Putting away the food she hadn’t eaten, she stayed in front of the wine bottle, going through her penstagram feed. As her vision slowly blurred, Amity just kept scrolling on her phone, contemplating the posts from all the people she followed that had a life apparently more interesting than hers.

From time to time, she took another sip.

Until the bottle got empty.

At some point, she managed to get up and go one her bed.

Her phone fell on the floor in the action, but Amity was definitely not able to pick it up.

She closed her eyes.

–––

Amity had a terrible headache when she opened her eyes. She walked to her bathroom, almost stepping on her phone, and splashed some fresh water onto her face. She didn’t look good. And the sun was already up, which meant she had probably missed a few hours of class.

Trying to be as fast as possible, Amity took a quick shower, brushed her teeth to get rid of the alcohol breath she probably had, and rushed to the university.


	13. Chapter 13

Listening to the teacher’s boring explanations, Luz was slowly copying the formulas written on the board, her head resting in her left hand. The morning had been very boring so far, and having to deal with thermodynamics now was not the best scenario. Luz had managed to actually understand most of what was happening thanks to Brandon, but having to deal with examples or grasping new concepts was still very difficult for her. It was the school subject where she had to be attentive all the time in order to not miss a single information.

Luz yawned, making sure to put her hand in front of her mouth because the teacher had blamed her for not doing so a week ago. Luckily, he called a 5 minutes break soon after that, allowing Luz to rest her mind a bit.

As usual, they were sitting on the last row, so Luz could see the whole amphitheater from where she was. It was fun looking at half of the class rushing out to smoke a cigarette, go to the bathroom or buy a coffee during the short break. Looking towards the first rows, Luz noticed that the seat next to Boscha, the one usually taken by Amity, was empty. In fact, her atypical green hairs were nowhere to be seen. It was probably the first time Amity was missing class, at least as far as Luz knew.

But well, they were no longer friends, so it wasn’t really Luz’s job to care about that. Boscha probably knew what happened already, and she would help Amity catch up.

-Sometimes I wonder how we’re not literally falling asleep, Brandon said with a weary voice. I mean now’s right when I get tired from listening since 8 AM  _ and  _ when I start getting hungry.

-You’re forgetting that I did fall asleep in chemistry a few months ago, Luz said with a smirk.

-Oh yeah I remember! When you arrived late and the teacher got super mad at you right?

-Yeah! Luz said, smiling. Good thing she didn’t see me asleep after that, I bet she would have kicked me out of class.

Luz saw Boscha with an eye while answering, and it made her think about Amity again.

-Any idea what happened to Amity? She’s not here this morning.

-Uh? said Brandon, a little surprised. Didn’t she like destroy your friendship or something? Also nope, didn’t see her.

-Yeah but you know… It’s hard getting over it. I keep thinking about her regularly, and it’s kinda hard to ignore the fact that I see her pretty much everyday at uni. It feels so weird acting like strangers, even though we didn’t really talk much in real life.

-I guess I understand… She must have been a really good friend if you care about her this much.

-I think it’s more like because she is one of the first person I met here. But I wish things were different… I can’t really go against her will though.

-Don’t be so pessimistic, Brandon tried to comfort her. Maybe she’ll change her mind.

Luz sighed.

-I just wish I had a say in this.

While Luz said that last sentence, the teacher got up and asked for the class to go sit and stop talking. He quickly resumed the lesson, leaving Luz thinking about the conversation she just had with Brandon.

Talking about Amity didn’t help her get over her regrets. Quite the opposite in fact, since it made Luz feel even worse than when she simply crossed path with Amity from time to time. She was trying to come up with a solution, a way to fix their friendship, but everything involved her talking to Amity, and she would probably react the same way she did two weeks ago. Luz was in a dead end and she knew it ; that’s why it felt so depressing to her.


	14. Chapter 14

It had been a little more than a month since Amity missed class for the first time because of the little “wine incident”. She hadn’t explained to Boscha why she arrived late that day, but her breath had probably spoken on her behalf. Boscha never mentioned it though.

Christmas was getting close, and the days were sadly short. Except for the library, the university was made of grey, concrete buildings, and combined with the winter weather, it made everything sad and depressing.

A lot of things had changed in a month. Amity’s relationships with other students had tarnished, and she could spend entire days without talking to a single person. And it was her fault. Since that evening a month ago, Amity had been regularly drinking, and people had started to notice, either directly or because someone told them. No one wanted to befriend an ‘alcoholic’. She was still attending most of her classes though, and tried to drink only on weekends ; Amity was trying her best to not let her current emotional state ruin her entire life. But resisting the urge of losing herself in alcohol was hard. Sometimes, she would drink on week evenings. It always ended up in her missing her morning classes, either because she didn’t wake up, or simply because her hangover was way too obvious for her to appear in public.

The worst was that she didn’t really know why she was depressed. Nothing really bad had happened to her, and it wasn’t like she was having troubles with lessons or anything. But not knowing why she was depressed made Amity even more depressed. It was a vicious circle. And everytime she got smashed, it also made her more depressed. Nothing was here to comfort her.

Boscha, her “best” friend, had been one of the first to distance herself from Amity. That wasn’t surprising though, since –and Amity was very aware of it– Boscha had always tried to stay away from anything not “normal”. That was why she hated Luz to begin with.

Funnily, one of the only things that hadn’t changed during the month was Amity’s relationship with Luz. They were still ignoring each other. Maybe, if Amity hadn’t rejected her, Luz would still be friends with Amity now, helping her overcome her depression.

But Amity had missed that chance, and for what? To stay “cool” in front of the class? To stay friends with Boscha?

What a waste.

And it wasn’t going to get better. When someone talked to Amity, she would always react harshly, sometimes nastily. Not that she wasn’t already cold before, but now her fear of being judged had almost become a paranoia. How was she supposed to make new friends like that?

-Amity?

Hearing her name from the teacher pulled Amity out of her daydream. She answered positively, and the teacher came to hand her a test she did a while ago.

-Keep up the good work, he said just before shouting another name.

Amity quickly looked at the sheet, seeing she had only made a couple of mistakes. It didn’t make her especially happy or joyful, because she was used to have good grades. It’s like the only thing Amity was doing the right way didn’t matter.

This thought hurt Amity more than she would have expected. Good thing it was Friday.

Amity put her test in her notebook, her notebook and pencil case in her bag, and got up.

‘Finally’, she thought.

The week had been long, too long, and for once she hadn’t drunk alcohol since the last weekend. Without a glance at the rest of the class, Amity started walking towards the door, and tried to blend in the crowd of people slowly going out of the campus.

The sun was about to set, but the street lamps weren’t lit yet. Everything looked grey and gloomy.

Amity turned right after the university gate, towards her apartment. She was planning on stopping at a nearby grocery store though, because she didn’t have anything to drink at home.

But as she was walking evenly, Amity heard someone running behind her, and before she could even look back, something, someone grabbed her wrist.

-Hi Amity, I… uh… 

Amity saw Luz’s face as she said these few words. She still cared.

Amity quickly turned back her head, feeling tears form in her eyes, and not wanting Luz to see her like this.

‘What a mess have I become…’

-Sorry to bother you, Luz continued. I’ve heard… things about you not going well, and I… I just want you to know that I’m here if you need help.

Amity’s brain was telling her to reject Luz. It felt like she had to shout at her, tell Luz to leave her alone. But she was tired. Amity was tired of being alone, she was tired of running away. Trying to protect herself from the world, trying to protect Luz from herself, it all sounded meaningless now.

Still, she didn’t want to admit her frailty. She would never. So she slowly, and calmly answered:

-I’m fine. Don’t worry.

Amity resumed her walk, letting her hand slide from Luz’s soft grip. But a few seconds later, she heard Luz move, most likely in the same direction as her.

-I uh… 

Amity closed her eyes, still walking. Why was she so persistent?

-Are you sure? You don’t look okay.

Amity didn’t know what to answer. She was hoping that somehow, Luz would go away. That she would leave her alone. However, Luz kept following her, probably waiting for an answer.

They stayed a few minutes like this, Luz following Amity a few meters behind, until Amity stopped because they had reached her building.


	15. Chapter 15

Amity was… not moving? Was she about to say something?

Luz glanced at Amity with a questioning look. She was afraid of what Amity would say. She was afraid of being rejected once again.

Luz had taken upon herself to talk to Amity, overcoming her fear of being definitely airbrushed out of her life. She had made no progress in the last month, she hadn’t even talked to Amity. It was crazy to think anything would be different now. Nothing had changed. But for some reason, when Luz saw Amity leave the amphitheater alone, when she saw the unhappy look on her face, something in her happened. She had to try something, for Amity. Because she didn’t deserve to go through this.

But Amity had once again turned down her offer. She acted like everything was fine, like she didn’t need help. Luz was once again in a dead-end. Maybe Amity wasn’t ready. Maybe she would never be read-

-Do…

Amity broke the silence that had been going between them for a few minutes. That was it. She was going to tell Luz to go away, to leave her alone, to mind her business. Exactly like it had happened last time.

-Do you want to come in?

‘What?’

Luz was so surprised by what she heard that her mouth slightly opened. Good thing Amity was still facing the other way.

-You mean like… Go in your room? Luz asked to make sure she hadn’t misunderstood.

-Now that you’re here, you can… take a break? Maybe you want to eat something? Amity said hesitantly while turning towards Luz.

-Y-yeah why not, I’m a bit thirsty.

Luz couldn’t believe it. It felt so unnatural, so abnormal. She had convinced herself that Amity would reject her so badly that she was now totally caught short. In an instant, Luz had become extremely careful with what she did or said, fearing that she would ruin everything.

Amity took a few steps to reach and open the door next to them, and held it open for Luz to come inside as well.

-It’s on the third floor, she said very casually.

They climbed the steps in silence, while Luz was noticing how clean and fancy even the staircase looked. She knew that Amity –or at least her parents– had more money than her mother, but it was still surprising to see it with her own eyes.

Amity stopped on the third floor, grabbed her keys, and opened her door, entering her apartment before Luz. Timidly, Luz followed her, discovering a surprisingly messy room. Despite being quite big, Amity’s apartment was in a total mess. There were at least 3 trash bags piled up near the door, a dozen empty bottles of various alcohols, and there was so much stuff on the table it was hard to tell its color. There was no way Amity was still studying at home in this mess, and knowing that she had stopped going to the library as well, Luz feared that she had totally given up. The only part that looked tidy was the couch.

-Sorry it’s such a mess, Amity said while closing what seemed to be her bedroom door. Didn’t really have the motivation to clean lately.

Luz was still standing near the door, not really knowing what to do at this point. She didn’t want to start wandering around, fearing that it would make Amity upset.

-Don’t worry about it, Luz muttered.

It made Amity realize that Luz was still in the entrance, so she gave her a few directions, probably feeling as awkward as Luz.

-Uh… Put your bag somewhere and take a sit, she said while heading towards the sink.

Luz assumed that Amity was talking about the couch, since the only chair she could see was already taken by a big cardboard box.

-What do you want to drink? I’ve got tap water or strawberry syrup, Amity said while grabbing two glasses.

-Water is fine, Luz answered from the sofa.

Amity quickly came back with two glasses, gave one to Luz, and sat down next to her on the couch. A very awkward silence followed, both of them drinking without having anything to say. It was Luz’s chance. If she didn’t make a move now, she would get out of Amity’s apartment in a few minutes, and all of her efforts to reconcile with her would be in vain. Still unsure of what she was supposed to say, Luz decided that it would probably come to her mind as she spoke:

-Listen Amity, she started, breaking the silence. I… Maybe you didn’t know, but on my first month at uni, I was about to give up. Everything felt so hard, I had no motivation, and the whole world seemed to be against me. But I met people at uni, there was Brandon, and… you. It may not seem like it, but our daily chats really helped me, you know, feel better. You made me laugh, you made me happy, it’s almost like you made me live. You were a sort of… light in my daily life. Then we kinda stopped talking. It made me sad, but you probably had your reasons, you don’t have to tell me what happened if you don’t want. I still had Brandon and quitting uni was already a long forgotten thought. But after that, even though I didn’t talk to you, I saw that you were not okay. I saw that you started missing class, I saw the sadness on your face. I don’t really know what happened, but you really seemed unwell. And despite what you said earlier, I know that you’re not fine. I know that something is not right, and I want to help you like you helped me. It truly makes me feel bad to see you like this, to see you sad, and it’s… It’s even more painful when you refuse my help.

Luz took a quick break to sniff. Despite all her efforts to maintain a confident look, thinking about her relation with Amity,  _ talking  _ about it, moved Luz.

-So please Amity, talk. Talk to me, tell me what’s wrong, let me help you. That’s why I followed you today, that’s why I’m here… 

Luz was too afraid to look at Amity. She was afraid of her answer. She grabbed her legs and hold them against her, putting her chin on her knees. Even though she wasn’t turned towards Amity, she could feel that she wasn’t moving. She was still sitting on the other side of the couch, probably coming up with an answer.

Luz didn’t know how much time passed after that. She was happy that she had finally said what she wanted to Amity, but at the same time scared of her answer, and worried about her. Finally, Amity spoke.

-Thank you… for telling me this. I uh… I appreciate that you want to help, and I’m sorry for being cold with you.

Her voice sounded apathetic, almost as if they were talking about something casual and not important.

-I won’t lie to you, I have… stuff to deal with. But I can get over it, on my own. You shouldn’t worry about that, it’s not your problem.

Luz had failed. She wanted to help Amity, but Amity was definitely not going to tell her what was wrong, nor was she going to let her help.

But Luz wasn’t going to give up on Amity as a friend.

-I already said that you didn’t have to tell me why you had stopped talking to me, but could we like, stay friends? I really miss our night chats, and it would really make me happy to have them again. It’s fine if you don’t want me to talk to you at uni, just tell me… 

-I miss these chats too Luz… Listen, I’m sorry I messed things up, I guess I needed you to come here to give me the courage to fix things between us. I’m sorry for the time I ran away in the library.

Luz risked a glance to her right, towards Amity, and saw that she looked a little morose. But there was something else on her face, a glimpse of hope, a slight joy that Luz could sense.

-Don’t worry about talking to me at uni, Amity continued. I uh… It’s not a problem, really. It was stupid from me to disallow that.

-I’m sure you had your reasons, Luz replied, trying to not let Amity feel too shameful.

Amity turned towards Luz, for the first time since she had given her the glass. Luz smiled, trying to make sure Amity didn’t think that she was mad or upset at her. And Amity... smiled back. It was a small, barely noticeable smile, but it was enough for Luz. She didn’t completely mess things up! She had managed to keep Amity as a friend, and even though she rejected her help, Luz was here if she changed her mind.

When Luz realized that, all the pressure inside her suddenly vanished, as if her guts finally had space in her belly again.

-So uh… What books did you read lately? asked Amity.

It was a weird transition, but Luz didn’t care about the possible awkwardness left by the previous conversation. She was too happy for that.

They talked for a while, mostly about what they had read, until Amity realized it was getting late.


	16. Chapter 16

-Oh wow, it’s already 8, do you uhhhhh… 

Amity didn’t really know what to do. It was the first time someone came to her apartment, and she had no experience with having guests. What was she supposed to do now, ask her to leave? That would sound rude, right? Especially since Luz had made real efforts to fix their friendship, Amity was scared to ruin it again.

-Do you want to eat here? I think I have a pizza in the fridge.

Luz looked surprised when she heard the proposition, but after a few seconds of hesitation she agreed.

-Sure! I don’t think I have enough energy to walk home anyways… she said with an overdramatic tone.

Amity got up and walked to her fridge, opened it, and grabbed the caper, goat cheese and raspberry vinegar pizza she had bought a few weeks ago. It looked cheap, but it was incredibly tasty, at least according to Amity. She checked the expiration date to make sure it was still edible, cut the pizza in six parts, and started microwaving them.

-You’re not allergic to cheese? Amity asked while waiting for the ordinary “bip”.

-Nope, no allergies! Luz answered with a jovial tone. Except kiwi fruit actually, but it would be weird to find that on a pizza.

The idea made Amity chuckle, almost instantly regretting her over-reaction to what Luz said. Her cheeks felt a little warm from the embarrassment.

While waiting for the last slice to heat up, Amity reopened her fridge to look for something they could drink while eating. She worried when she saw that she only had alcohol. Was she supposed to suggest something to Luz? Wouldn’t it make her look even more like an alcoholic? Amity knew that Luz was aware of her alcohol problems… Everyone in their class was. Would she react negatively? The microwave bip forced her to quickly make up her mind.

-Uhhh Luz? Would you like to drink white wine with the pizza? They go well together.

-Are you sure you should… drink alcohol? Water is okay too… 

A quick look towards Luz showed that she was staring at the floor, her head a bit low, probably uncomfortable for telling this to Amity.

-Don’t worry! It’s not the same when you drink with someone else-

‘- I guess’ Amity finished in her head. In fact, apart from a few times with her family, Amity had never drinked alcohol with friends. But well, Luz was here, Amity wasn’t going to drink an entire bottle on her own, so she had no reason to worry.

-If you drink with me I won’t have enough alcohol to get drunk anyway, Amity continued with a smile, hoping that Luz would trust her.

-Then… I guess I can drink with you, Luz answered, a bit reassured. But not a lot though… I’ve never drunk wine before, so I can probably not handle it well.

-Yeah-yeah don’t worry, just take what you want.

Amity looked at the couch and realized they had no table. Usually she would simply eat on the couch –or not at all–, so she had to come up with something. Cleaning the table was definitely not feasible in less than an hour, and the only option she had was that dumb chair next to it.

‘Well, I guess I have no choice’ Amity thought while moving the cardboard that was on it. She grabbed the chair and placed it in front of the sofa. At least it was at the same height.

-Sorry for the… setting, said Amity, a bit embarrassed. Even if the table was clean I only had one chair anyway.

-It’s fine! Luz answered almost immediately. Don’t start thinking my place looks better because believe me, it doesn’t.

Amity went back to the microwave, put the last pizza slice on the plate, uncorked the wine bottle and brought everything back to the couch.

-Go ahead, Amity said. I’ll just go to the bathroom real quick.

When she came back Luz was eating, holding a slice in her left hand, and her glass half filled with wine in the other.

-Sish tashtes weirh buth goodh, Luz said, looking at the pizza to try to guess its ingredients.

-Surprisingly, it’s one of the less expensive. Maybe people don’t like it, or maybe it’s because it has no meat. But I personally like it a lot!

Amity took a slice and started eating too, which stopped their conversation, leaving a silence only filled with the noises they made and the distant sound of a neighbour’s tv.

When Luz finished her slice, she resumed the conversation.

-So uh, are you okay with… school? she asked cautiously.

-Could be better, could be worse, Amity answered. I mean I haven’t missed that many hours, and even if my understanding is probably worse than a few months ago, I still get most of what’s happening. It’s enough to pass I guess.

Amity realized that talking about her difficulties at school wasn’t something as embarrassing as she would have thought. Maybe it was because she was with Luz, and Amity knew that Luz wasn’t the type to judge. It was almost like she could tell her everything, and it felt good.

-What about you though? Are you still having trouble with… uh… I think it was Thermo?

-Yeah! Well it got a little better since Brandon started to help me. At least I understand most of the things happening. Doing the exercises is still a problem though…

-Brandon is the guy who often wears yellow, right? Amity asked. Never talked to him, is he nice?

-Yeah it’s him, and yes he’s very cool! He makes good jokes, so the class never gets too boring.

-You’re lucky to have a friend like him.

-Aren’t you friends with Boscha? I thought she was kinda like Brandon, at least from what I know… What’s your relationship with her exactly?

Luz sounded casual, but she looked slightly concerned, almost as if she was worried about the answer. Amity decided to not overinterpret that look –she wasn’t even sure she hadn’t hallucinated it– and answered sincerely.

-Well… I guess we were good friends, even though she seemed to not care about me sometimes. But that was until the library incident... She never really talked to me after that. I never tried to reconnect with her either, so I guess it’s partially my fault… Why do you ask?

-Uh… Luz began, rubbing the back of her head. At the beginning of the year, when you were always with her, I thought that uh… maybe there was something more going on between you two. Sorry for bringing it up.

-Wh…

Amity probably blushed really hard when she heard Luz’s assumption. She didn’t know how to react. Why would she believe that? Amity had never considered Boscha… this way. Homosexuality was kind of taboo in her family, and Amity always did her best to not think about anything related to it.

A long and awkward silence followed, until Amity decided to clear things up.

-What makes you think that I’m… uh… into girls?

Luz’s eyes widened when she heard Amity’s question.

-Oh. OW! I’m so sorry! I completely misinterpreted everything! Please forget everything I said, I didn’t mean it.

It was her turn to blush, even though it was probably less obvious than on Amity’s lighter cheeks. Like earlier, Amity thought she saw, for a very brief moment, a disappointed look on Luz’s face. But the room wasn’t well lightened, so it was probably her imagination playing tricks on her.

Luz quickly changed the topic, and the two girls resumed their diner as if nothing had happened.


	17. Chapter 17

Luz was staring at the empty plate, not knowing how to ask Amity for more food. She was still hungry, but Amity had been talking with her for almost half an hour and she seemed to be totally unaware of the lack of food. Luz didn’t want to risk being impolite with her, since she knew Amity was likely to take offense from it.

Instead, she just took another sip of wine, trying to calm her hunger. Luz was already starting to feel a little tipsy, but nothing really concerning so far. She was aware that her vision was a tiny bit more blurry than usual, and overall she felt like she was less thinking about what she was saying to Amity. It was like she got over some restraints and fears she had, it was like she was somewhat free of social pressure.

Of course, it wasn’t an enormous change, and she hadn’t drastically shifted personality in a few minutes. It was just, how she perceived things. It was different.

-...and then there was this big, gigantic monster that was attacking the city-

-Uh, excuse me Amity, but do you have anything else to eat? I’m still a little bit hungry.

Luz surprised herself when she said that. It was definitely not something she would have done if she was sober. She feared Amity’s reaction, especially since Luz cut her right in the middle of a sentence, but surprisingly she wasn’t that afraid. She didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol, or because she started feeling more comfortable with Amity. Nothing bad or sad had happened since Luz got to her apartment, and that was encouraging.

-Oh sorry, I didn’t think you would still be hungry! Amity answered. Don’t hesitate to ask me next time, I guess you just eat more than me.

Luz was relieved that Amity didn’t get angry at her, but also surprised that she was so caring.

‘She must only act like this with her close friends’ Luz thought, remembering how cold Amity could be with people from their class. Luz didn’t really realize what this meant about their relationship, but she thought it was very cute.

Amity got up and went in the kitchen part of the room, trying to find something else to eat.

-I don’t know about you Luz, but I’m starting to be a bit tipsy. It feels weird walking like that.

-Yeah me too. It’s not unpleasant to be honest, it kinda makes my mind go wobbly.

Amity chuckled when Luz added a long “uaaa” sound after her sentence.

She quickly came back with a packet of cookies.

-I’m sorry, it’s all I have for dessert. Take what you want, I won’t eat any.

Luz thanked her and quickly grabbed a cookie.

-Ughhh, thanks to you I forgot what I was saying, Amity commented. You’re such a dork.

Amity’s face tensed up, probably fearing that Luz would take what she meant as a friendly teasing the wrong way. Quickly realizing that, Luz put on a big smile and answered.

-You’re the one who tried to starve me to death!

Amity giggled.

Luz realized her vision had gotten even blurrier than before. She hadn’t drank too much, but she probably hadn’t reached the drunkness peak yet. Thinking about that made her worry about Amity as well. What if she had a nervous breakdown after Luz left?

-You sure you’re okay with uh… drinking? Luz asked out of the blue.

Amity looked surprised when she heard Luz’s question, but it quickly turned into a frown.

-I told you I’m fine Luz, she answered sharply. 

As always, Amity was trying to avoid the topic. She didn’t want to talk about her problems. Actually, it was more like she was acting as if she didn’t have any.

-You know Amity, Luz started, it kinda annoys me that you always retreat into yourself when I try to help. I mean I really want to help, you know? Like genuinely.

Amity was looking at Luz strangely.

-You’re always acting like you have no problems, or like you can handle them on your own. But it’s not true. It’s like you keep running away from everything. Please let me help you… You really mean a lot to me, probably more than anyone else, and I know we already talked about it but I just… 

Luz started realizing slowly what she had just said, making her stop in the middle of her sentence.

-Oh gosh, sorry Amity. It’s the alcohol… 

Luz tried to apologize the best way she could. She wished she had never told that to Amity. It just came out like that, for no reason, and Luz hoped that Amity didn’t really notice that bit.

-What do you mean “more than anyone else”? 

‘Oh god’. She did notice.

-Forget I ever said that, please. It’s the alcohol, it just didn’t came out as I wanted to say it. I meant that I really care about you, and I want to help.

-And then you said ‘more than anyone else’. What does it mean? Believe me, I know what alcohol does, and I know this was most likely something you thought but didn’t want to say out loud.

Luz sighed. What was she supposed to do now? She didn’t even understand why she had said that. It wasn’t something that she had thought about before, and it felt like it was not her brain that had spoken.

-Listen uh… I don’t know. I really don’t.

Amity wasn’t saying anything. She was looking at Luz, hanging on every word that came out of her mouth.

After a long silence, Luz decided that she had to speak. She had to try to explain what she felt, with honesty. Because Amity was her friend. Because she didn’t want to let her sentence unclarified.

Was Luz really going to say that?

-I guess it’s… I’ve never really thought about it before, but I may have… feelings for you.

‘Oh shit I said it’. Luz felt her cheeks become very warm as she spoke. She probably looked very embarrassed right now, and it was accurate. Amity blushed at the same time, her mouth slightly opening from the surprise.

-I… I don’t know what to say… 

Amity looked lost. Not mad, not angry, not disgusted, but lost.

-Listen, Luz started. Just forget all of that. I’m your friend no matter what, don’t worry about this. It won't change our friendship. I’ll make sure it doesn’t. It’s just a crush, not that big of a deal…

Luz was talking super fast to try to reassure Amity. And also because she was embarrassed. Did she really say “crush”? It was even worse than what she had said previously.

Luz wanted to disappear into a hole, to erase the last five minutes of her existence. She closed her eyes, trying to calm down. Was this real? She had never really realized that she had feelings for Amity before tonight. Was it the alcohol? Luz remembered all those nights chats, how excited she felt every time she was talking to Amity through her phone.

‘How did I not notice this earlier?’ Luz felt even more stupid when she realized that these feelings were not new. It was just something she had ignored until… today.

-I uh… Amity started. I’m sorry, Luz. I never really thought about you… this way. It’s… I didn’t expect that.

-I’m sooo stupid. I swear I didn’t mean to say that, especially since I know you’re not into uh… girls. I swear this won’t change anything between us, just forget about it.

Amity gave Luz an enigmatic look.

-What makes you say I’m not into girls?

Luz was totally lost, and so was Amity. Didn’t Amity say earlier she was straight? Luz tried to recall the conversation they had over an hour ago. Amity had been clear about the fact that she wasn’t “more than friends” with Boscha, but… Did she really say she wasn’t into girls? Sure, she had asked why Luz thought that, but she had never really invalidated Luz’s idea. 

Luz had to know.

-Wait… You are?

Amity sighed, a doubtful look on her face.

-I… don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it. It’s weird because I read so much romance, but I don’t know. I never really thought about… romantic relationships.

A glimpse of hope emerged in Luz’s mind. Maybe she actually had a chance. It was very weird to think like this while Luz had just become aware of her own feelings, but every second passing was making them more intense. As if as soon as Luz realized she had a crush on Amity, combined with the fact that Amity  _ knew _ , that she was right here in front of Luz, everything made her loose her temper. It was overwhelming.

-So can you uh… think about it? I mean now. 

Luz knew this was awkward, she knew that she probably sounded too interested. But she was trying her best to not push Amity too much. She wanted her to be as comfortable as possible, because it was kind of an heavy topic.

-If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine, really. It’s just that uh… I kinda confessed my feelings, so I would have liked to know… if they are shared- I mean reciprocal. But don’t feel like you have to tell me. It’s fine.

Amity still had the same unsure look on her face. She was definitely having a hard time sorting out her feelings. After a long silence, she finally spoke.

-Listen, I… I want to give you an answer. I don’t want you to leave like that, I don’t want to ruin everything. Can you just, give me some time to think about it? I feel like I really need to change my mind. We can watch a movie or something if you want.

Amity really seemed concerned about Luz, and she was definitely trying to not hurt her. It was cute.

-As much as you want, Luz answered. You have all night to make up your mind if you want, I don’t have anything planned for tomorrow. Also about that movie, why not! What do you have?

It felt really weird to not have an answer. Luz felt like she was naked, as if her biggest secret as just been revealed to Amity, and yet it was almost like she didn’t even react.

‘It’s fine, at least I know I’ll have an answer at some point’.

Amity had gotten up, and she was now in front of a box filled –from what Luz could tell– with DVDs and blu-rays. She was going through the few dozen boxes she had, and Luz noticed that Amity started blushing a little.

-Oh gosh, Amity whispered. Uh Luz? Do you mind if uh… we watch a romance? I never realized it before but it turns out I don’t have anything else… But we can do something else if you want, I have a card game and-

-No-no-no don’t worry, Luz immediately answered after letting out a small and nervous giggle. It doesn’t matter what it is.

-Want another drink? Amity asked. I have a pair of light beers in the fridge, it shouldn’t make you more drunk… I think.

Amity finished her sentence with a teasing look towards Luz.

‘Do I really look that drunk?’ Luz worried. ‘Or is she just teasing me because I can’t hold my liquor?’

After Luz nodded, Amity grabbed two beer cans in her fridge, gave one to Luz, then turned on her TV and the DVD player.

-I think it’s a german romance, do you want to watch it with subs or dubs?

-Why am I not surprised that you watch obscure foreign movies? Luz answered with a smirk. Anyways, it’s your choice, you’re the one who bought it, enjoy it how you want.

-I guess I’ll go with dubs then. If I want to give you… an answer, I need to focus on something else than reading.

Amity blushed a little when she brought back that topic. She probably felt as awkward as Luz about not answering right away.

She pressed play, and the movie started. It was a very average drama, named Nina –it was also the name of the main character–, and it wasn’t unpleasant to watch but neither was it super interesting. Still, Luz slowly got into the movie and its characters, and she was attentively following Nina’s struggles with her romantic life.

After more than an hour, in the middle of a scene where Nina was at her workplace, Amity suddenly started to speak.

-Luz?

-Hmmm?

-I uh… I think I made up my mind…

All of a sudden, Luz forgot everything. The movie, where she was, what she was waiting for. Almost as if her brain wanted to make as much room as possible for Amity’s answer. Amity’s face didn’t really express anything, so Luz was very apprehensive about what was coming.

-Go on? Luz said, a little afraid.

The movie was still running in the background, but neither of them was paying any attention to it. Luz was looking at Amity while she was looking at the floor, probably too embarrassed to look into Luz’s eyes.

-I thought about, well, romantic relationships. But I didn’t really bother asking myself if I was into girls, I just asked myself if I liked… you. Since it’s what you asked…

Amity paused for a while, leaving Luz in an almost unbearable wait.

-In all honesty, I’m still unsure about everything. But if I really think about you... maybe I also have… uh… feelings. So I’m willing to try. Because I really like you Luz, and probably more than any other friend as well.

Amity had been heavily blushing since the moment she said she might also have feelings for Luz. Luz, on the other hand, was totally speechless. She had tried to not think about Amity’s answer, so that she wouldn’t be disappointed if she said no. And now, Luz was totally caught short.

-Wow.

That was all she could answer. She was super embarrassed and didn’t know what to say. She was scared she would ruin this moment.

A few seconds passed, and the tension slowly decreased. Amity’s cheeks were loosing some red, and Luz started to feel a little more confident. Her attention shifted back to the movie for a few seconds, and she realized that Nina was right in the middle of declaring her love.

-Tell me if this bothers you…

Before Luz could realize what Amity was talking about, she saw her lie down, putting her head on Luz’s lap. Both of them became instantly red, even though Amity couldn’t see Luz’s face since she was looking towards the TV.

Luz tensed up as soon as she realized what Amity was doing, but after a few seconds, she relaxed a little. Looking at her blushing face was something surprisingly soothing, and without thinking, Luz felt her fingers starting to stroke Amity’s hairs.

-It’s… it’s fine…


	18. Chapter 18

Two months had passed since the night Luz had confessed to Amity. The midyear exams were approaching, so Amity had been working really hard these past weeks.

She was currently listening to the math teacher, who was trying to explain Bayes’ theorem to the very inattentive class. Amity was sitting in an intermediate row, not too close to the teacher but close enough for her to hear everything. To her right, Boscha was also listening, even though she was scrolling on her phone at the same time. It had taken a long time for Amity to become reconciled with her, but her efforts had finally paid off a few weeks ago when Boscha agreed to have lunch with her. Since then, they had been sticking together most of the time.

But unlike the first months of class, it wasn’t just the two of them.

To Amity’s left, Luz was sitting –actually she was probably closer to lying– in front of her blank notebook. She was seemingly daydreaming, and Amity had to do some serious efforts to not get distracted and start talking to her. Finally, to Luz’s left, Brandon was vaguely listening to the teacher.

Ever since Amity and Luz started dating –even though it had taken a couple weeks for them to actually start using the word “dating”–, Amity’s life had gotten considerably better, in many aspects.

First of all, she had gotten rid of her alcohol problem. It had simply vanished because Amity was spending less much time at her home, so she didn’t have the possibility to get wasted like before. However, she hadn’t stopped drinking alcohol, but it was always in smaller amount and with her friends.

Amity had also stopped isolating herself, and she had started doing her school work regularly again. But since both of these problems were mostly caused by alcohol, they had totally disappeared as soon as Amity started dating Luz.

Honestly, these past two months had been amazingly sweet to Amity. Even though her first “dates” with Luz had been  _ very  _ awkward, they had learned to know each other more. Like Amity had guessed when she had given her answer two months ago, every second she had spent with Luz had made Amity love her more. It was like she had always been in love, but her feelings had to dig through an enormous layer of apprehension to start showing up.

They had gotten out a number of times, but Amity’s favorite moments were always on friday nights, when Luz came to Amity’s place and they would watch a movie –or several ones, depending on how tired they were– and spend the night.

Overall, Amity had been super happy with her life recently, and she hoped nothing would ever change.

Amity got dragged out of her daydreaming when the teacher announced the end of the class. She was a little mad because she had missed the last five minutes, but it instantly vanished when she looked at Luz.

Luz was doing a big, smug smile, staring at Amity with a joyful look on her face.

This class was the last of the day, and they had planned to go out after it. Luz wanted to try the new bubble tea shop that had just opened near the university, and Amity was curious about how bubble tea tasted, since she had never drank any. But most of it was just an excuse for them to go on a date.

–––

Boscha was looking at Amity and Luz leaving the amphitheater while she was gathering her school stuff. She couldn’t see their faces from where she was, but she saw that they were holding hands, their fingers intertwined.

A smile lit up her face, and she turned towards Brandon who was about to leave.

-I gotta admit; they look really cute together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank you all for your support, kudos and kind comments. That was my first time writing a multi-chaptered slash fanfic, and it was an amazing experience.  
> Even though I feel like my English got better throughout the fic, I'm still not 100% happy with how the last chapters turned out. But I did my best!  
> I hope you enjoyed the fic, and have a nice Grom episode everyone~
> 
> Have a small song that could work with this fic btw (sorry Avery I know you hate it but I have to) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VdfnwS6emo


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